Are Relationships facing Commitment qualms?
There has been a leap of change in the the social structure over the past decade. What was considered a taboo just a decade ago is the latest fad in the upcoming generations – live in relationships. Well, that i consider should be renamed a commitment crisis.
Talking about almost half a decade back, we have known of our grandparents and great grandparents getting married to total strangers, whom most of them get to see for the first time on the D day. But their relationship has stood strong through all the things that could weather them down. Divorce and affairs were unheard off. They too would have had faced uncertainties in life, setbacks and moreover would have discovered a lot of drawbacks in their partners. But they stood with each other like a garment covering each others weaknesses and highlighting the good.
We on the other hand were given the freedom to meet our prospective partner, have a few chats and understand the environment we will be entering after marriage.Our relationships are not as strong as those olden golden days but nevertheless , the rate of successful marriages are quite high.
But i find the upcoming trend of knowing each other before taking the final step quite disturbing. Every person has their share of good and bad. When we discover the unpleasant side of the person, we tend to get overwhelmed. Our reason to call off the relation is easier as there is no stronghold commitment. If there is no foundation , how can we expect a building to stand. What surprises will await us after marriage, if we have experienced the entire package before it. All that is left in the marriage is a splurge of money on a grand ceremony and an expensive honeymoon.
The younger generations are willing to spend most of the time preparing for the wedding than the marriage. They know too much of the other person to give room for solving problems that will subsequently arise over the years.
And what is more perplexing is that the people, in the west especially, are more than happy to have a kid before wedlock. For them to decide whether to get married is harder than bringing a new life into existence. I find it really startling to see many couples especially celebrities , calling themselves partners for almost a decade, getting married and having four of their kids standing at the forefront during the wedding. And as surprising as this is, the pompous wedding doesn’t last long.
I feel the outlook of this kind of relationship itself is erroneous. People don’t want to commit to weddings as they feel they can separate more easily. If separation is the basis of a relationship, then the smallest of issues would break apart the alliance. On the other hand if there is a strong willed commitment and trust from both the partners, which is formed during the marriage, the relationship will likely stand stronger against the storms.
Relationships and marriages can never be based on trial and error because no person is perfect but everyone is unique in their own ways. Lots of of love topped with even more understanding and acceptance will make relationship work. The base of which is marriage.This shows the willingness of the partners commitment to each other. I remember a friend who told me that her grandmother would always say. ‘ The wine that is the oldest is always the best, likewise the relationship that stays longer becomes all the more sweeter’.