It was 9 in the morning! The ring of the phone wakes me from my morning siesta as i try to overcome the lethargy of landing in india from uae . It was from my elder sons’s residential school,telling me the exact drop off location from where my son would be escorted to his school, which was 5 hours away.It was a shrill reminder that i had to part with my prodigal son.

Raising 3 boys with attitudes and temperaments directions apart was my everday cup of coffee.  I have always believed in being  an at home parent and that the kids need our full on support, which prompted me to give up my career. So how come i decided to part with my elder one?

This isn’t the question i have asked myself but it is the question that the whole world asks me. Sarcastically of course.  From the time i and my husband took the decision to send my elder one to a residential school a year back, i am not only bombarded with questions akin but also given a grimacing look as a reminder of how horrid a mother i could be. And this just dosen’t come from known faces but surpsringly from unknown strangers,who i happen to bump into for unprecedented reasons.

And the question starts with how could you take such a decision  and  seals off , as a silent slap on my face with – ‘ I could never have done such a thing with my kids’. I smile and respond- we had  taken this decision after a lot of thought. I skip adding the phrases- lot of mutual consultation, research, prayers,discussions, arguments and a broken heart. Yes ofcourse- a broken,forlorn and sorrowful heart.

My elder son is a brilliant and smart kid but he is required to be kept busy, active and entertained. Well that is quite easy if we go by the gadgets mantra. But weaning them off those gadget monsters takes a heavy toll on us cruel parents. I am often asked can’t u handle your son. Handle, i ofcourse can but sometimes if you feel in some way there will be a betterment for him,then thats the choice we need to make. The ore of gold needs to pass through the fire for its value to increase.

I feel like telling to all parents out there – your kid is unique, special and different. And the decisions you need to take for each are unique too. If i were to judge my decision based on the reaction of the mom of a quite and well behaved kid, i would only end up taking the ever wrong decsion for my ever so smart, hyper and  sprightly kids.

We can’t be supermoms, perfect in every way but we are mums with a thousand flaws, still trying to give the very best to our kids. And sometimes the decisions we take are way beyond what we imagine we could ever take.

It was 6.am.. I shrugged at thought of getting out of bed today.. I had to let him go -not to see him for the next four months, waiting anxiously for the 10 mins of weekly calls, to hear his voice, to hear -i love u mama.  He was crying since night and i was fighting back my tears trying to be strong, atleast till he left. Then i could break down. Break down into sobs and prayers. And that is what i will do. Pray for u my love – always and forever.

 

 

 

 

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